In Memoriam
I have been missing from this beautiful land for far too long. I had embarked on a journey a few weeks ago to obtain art to show and sell in the North Star Studios. My travels were short by unexpected events. The Enchantress was aware of the recent events that weigh heavy on my heart and suggested that I post here.
My brother Stan was 49 years old when he died this week. He was a gentle soul, never wanting to cause anyone harm. In an attempt to protect everyone, no one knew how ill he really was. We knew he had a brain tumor a few months ago followed by chemotherapy and radiation. He told us the doctors had been able to get all the cancer and nothing showed up in follow-up MRIs, when, instead, he was told he only had a few months to live. He had a very aggressive form of brain cancer that no amount of treatment could keep up with. He had a second operation a couple of weeks ago in an attempt to remove some pressure from his brain so that he wouldn't be in as much pain, but that operation was not successful. He was starting to lose his sight in addition to constant headaches beyond belief (In his last moments, the pressure on his brain registered 120. We were told that normal pressure is about 8). Not being able to see beyond the bleakness of his future and believing he needed to spare us all, he ended his life last Sunday night. We believe he may have overdosed on Tylenol and other drugs he had available and jumped from his apartment balcony. Though, with the amount of pressure on his brain, he may have easily taken too many drugs without even knowing and who knows what kind of state of mind that put him in.
My brother was an artist. He started with graphic arts when he was in high school and photography when he was in college. He found a love of computer programming, too, and found it paid the bills a whole lot easier. So, when he wasn't programming computers, he was planning trips to take photos of nature. He built a website at SerendipityImages.com to sell his photos, but never really got much attention. His dream was to retire early and spend his time on photography and painting watercolors.
We have no recent pictures of Stan, so I am having some of his photographs printed to display during visitation and a memorial service this week. I made a prayer card using one of his photos, too. (Let me tell you, it was quite a challenge to get the funeral director to understand that I could make the front of the prayer card and send it to the printer via e-mail. I guess not all people can be internet/computer geeks. ;-) I couldn't get access to the high res images he sells on his website because we have no idea what his passwords are. But I did get CDs of photos he took that time he visited us back in August. I don't have an eye for what makes a great photo as he did, so I just chose a few I liked. The photos below are the ones I chose. I can't wait to see them printed in poster size! Between these and several images I'm printing out myself, I'm hoping that everyone who comes to the visitation and/or memorial service can leave with one of Stan's photos.
Here's to Stan -- the artist and gentle soul that he was and will continue to be! I wish for you an eternity of galaxy hopping, swinging on stars, and learning all about those things in the universe that you found intriguing. May you always be joyful and never ever have to carry such a burden alone again.
posted by Ashleyshea @ 9:06 PM
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